


One

by Batagur



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-08
Updated: 2006-09-08
Packaged: 2017-10-10 14:16:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/100665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batagur/pseuds/Batagur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack escapes Ba'al's prison, but not by the helping hand of SG1 influenced by Daniel's visitation to Teal'c.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One

**Author's Note:**

> beta'd by the tireless and wonderful amazonx with a little help from ausmac and nangi_akki . Spoilers for SG1 6x06 Abyss.

The Sarcophagus was his misery, and every time he awoke in it, he felt the empty burn of despair. There was no way out of this cycle. Ba'al had eternity to tire of this cat-and-mouse game. However, every time Jack woke up in the Sarcophagus, he knew he was less. A piece was missing; the hole in his soul was growing. The Sarcophagus was making the emptiness a living thing, like a cancer that would consume him. Daniel was right. Soon there would be nothing left.

Weigh my heart against a feather. If I pass: eternity. If I fail: the eater of souls.

"That's how the Egyptian legend goes."

He looked up at Daniel. This was the fifth time perhaps? For a moment he thought about righting himself from the prone position on the cell floor…or wall…but then he thought, screw it. That was fine. Daniel knelt down beside him.

"I don't know," Jack said weakly. He was surprised by Daniel's silence. He expected him to request that he elaborate. Not that Jack was ungrateful for the reprieve. He didn't know where to start. He didn't know why this was happening to him. He didn't know what Ba'al wanted. He didn't know how to make it end. He. Didn't. Know.

It hurt to look into Daniel's eyes. He only saw it after maybe the third time, after he was too tired to be angry. There was pain there, helpless, hopeless pain. If Jack stared too long, he would fall into it. It was endless agony for Daniel to watch him like this, and Jack knew that Daniel would stay by his side, even beyond the point of no return. Maybe then he would end this.

Jack curled to his side, turning towards Daniel as if to seek his comfort, but he lowered his face to the smooth tiles, shutting his eyes tight. Daniel couldn't comfort him with anything more than words.

"Go away, Daniel." His voice was a hoarse croak, and he wondered if the Sarcophagus was incapable of healing his throat that was torn raw from screaming. Maybe it just healed the worst stuff first. "Go be a glow-y, float-y, happy-- being."

It was silent in the cell for a long time, and Jack began to wonder if Daniel, at long last, did something he told him to do. It was too much to hope for. Jack opened one eye. Nope. There Daniel sat, cross-legged in that white sweater. He looked comfortable. Jack sighed.

"Let me help you." Daniel's voice, barely above a whisper, moved through his body like deep rumble of springtime thunder. Odd for a tenor voice to feel like that, but it was pleasant. Jack looked at Daniel. He looked solid, but Jack knew better. What he would have gave to be able to just touch Daniel's hand.

"Lay down your burdens," Daniel repeated.

It made sense, but it was a cold slap of reality that was as bitter as it was beautiful. Lay down your burdens: give up the things that tie you to this physical world. Things like touch. So simple and so fucking impossible. Jack couldn't give up. He wanted to touch. He wanted to see. He wanted to hear. He wanted to smell. He wanted to taste. He wanted to know.

I. Don't. Know.

It was an endless loop of agony. It was an agony that he walked alone, even though Daniel was there. It was watching Daniel's agony, too. And he wondered, if he could only touch him, that the agony would be less. There it was: the comfort of touch. Someone once told him that touching, hugging was the futile attempt of two humans to become one. Two as one was stronger. Two as one could hold back the agony at least a little bit.

I can't.

He wasn't sure if he said it out loud, because he saw the pain deepen in Daniel's beautiful eyes. They grew bright with unshed tears as they had that day he had died, asking Jack to let him go. They really were beautiful eyes, so wide, intelligent, caring, trusting. Maybe they were all these things only for him? Naw, he'd seen him turn and look at Sam and Teal'c with the same sort of affection. He would do this for either of them, too.

Daniel's lips trembled, and Jack waited. There was something more Daniel wanted to say. Jack relaxed against the smooth cold stone beneath him. Time was running short. The Jaffa would return and the game would resume.

"So close, Jack," Daniel whispered.

Jack didn't understand, but he watched Daniel's lips as they formed the words. He loved the way Daniel's mouth formed the words that made up his name, "Jack O'Neill." The way his lower lip would drop on the "k" in Jack just before rounding smoothly for the "O" of O'Neill, they looked soft, pink and pretty. Daniel had a prettier mouth than most women Jack knew, and that included Carter.

Jack heard the distant sounds of booted feet. "End this," he pleaded again to the only Soul he knew that could.

"You can, Jack," Daniel whispered. He was gone from sight, but his voice lingered against Jack's skin. "I'll be with you."  
~*~

Ba'al ceased to ask questions after a while. Instead he was watching Jack's agony with a curious expression, as if he were contemplating a piece of art in a museum. The system lord frowned and stroked his beard, cocking his head at a thoughtful angle.

The acid was just starting to race along his veins like liquid fire, spreading outward and yet still aggregating at major organs, at first warming them like cheap whisky. Then the burn would turn sharp. While it was still bearable, it felt like the worst gas he had ever had. He had retched, bring nothing up and Ba'al had wrinkled his nose in distaste.

Jack now understood the limits of his physical strength. He knew how long it took for his struggling grunts to become helpless screams. He knew how long it took for his helpless screams to become thoughtless shrieks. He knew how long it took for his thoughtless shrieks to become hopeless moans. From there, it went to feeble whimpers and, at last, silence. He had no energy left to even cry.

His face was wet with sweat, salvia and tears. He wasn't sure if his body was feverish from pain or from the burn of the acid in his system. He kept wondering when he would be allowed to die. Ba'al liked the acid. It lasted longer than the knives. He could give him just enough neutralizing agent to stop the damage from happening too quickly. Then he would build it back up again, a crescendo of suffering. As Ba'al spilled the toxin across his body, Jack was often reminded of a conductor of an orchestra waving his baton. Jack didn't care much for straight symphonic classical music. Would that be considered irony?

"No, Jack," Daniel said gently. "It's not irony."

"So you tell me, smart guy? What is?"

Ba'al was talking; probably responding to Jack's question, spoken out of context. Ba'al couldn't see or hear Daniel, Jack knew. He couldn't make out what Ba'al was saying, and, truthfully, he had ceased to care long ago. Death was near. It had to be.

"What is?" Daniel echoed. "I'll tell you what is. It's the fact that you won't give up agony to have the one thing you actually crave."

Jack looked at Daniel. He wanted to say so much, but he didn't have any more breath. He had precious little strength. It was enough to know that Daniel probably already read the answer in his eyes. He wondered why it was he couldn't just faint for a while. Just that little bit.

"Let go, Jack." Daniel moved a little closer. "It's not giving up."

There were things to see in Daniel's eyes. Daniel had said that they had their own journeys to follow, but somehow, Jack knew, wherever his journey led, Daniel would be there at his side. Touch couldn't make two beings one.

"So close, Jack."

So, how does one lay down his burden anyway? It had to be a spiritual thing, right? Jack's mind was suddenly flooded with every old south spiritual song he ever knew existed, and he shook his head against the haze and confusion. One stayed stuck in his mind:

Daniel saw the stone  
Rollin', rollin'  
Daniel saw the stone  
Cut out the mountain without hands

Never saw such a man before  
Cut out the mountain without hands  
Spite call them wicked men  
Cut out the mountain without hands

Daniel pray'd in the lions' den  
Cut out the mountain without hands  
Drive the devil far away  
Cut out the mountain without hands

When did he ever hear that one? It had to be long, long ago when he was only a kid. Maybe it was on some Sunday morning show. It didn't seem to fit the situation really, but he remembered the story of Daniel in the lion's den. Daniel had trusted in his god and the Lion's mouth was shut. Trust?

"Let go."

He trusted Daniel. Okay, he trusted Daniel, but Daniel himself said he was no god. Daniel was never afraid to face facts. No fear. Jack looked into Daniel's eyes. No fear.

What was he, Jack, afraid of? Giving up? Life? Death? Touch? Daniel's lips parted sweetly, as if he yearned to say something more. What Jack would give to touch those lips? They were probably as soft as they looked. Their taste would be so sweet, like drinking the cleanest, coolest water. He could almost taste them as he hung on the cusp of life.

"Please, Jack," Daniel whispered. "Let go."

Let go of touch, of desire, of sensations that made life worth living and death worth avoiding. The burden was the chains of physical existence. Wanting Daniel's soft lips.

He wasn't sure if he was strong enough. He looked again in Daniel's eyes and saw a yearning deeper than time. It was something he was trying to tell him, and thank god he didn't try using Oma's stupid riddles.

Touch was the futile attempt to make two beings one. Let it go.

Jack closed his eyes, breathed his last breath. The last thing he heard was Ba'al's exclamation before sensation fluttered away. This wasn't death. He could sort of see and hear and smell and taste, but it wasn't the same. It was a strange amalgamation of knowing.

Ba'al raged and that gave him some satisfaction. In this other plane of existence, he was everywhere and nowhere, but Daniel was with him. Daniel followed him as his heart fled Ba'al's strong hold and passed swiftly over space, folding it on itself to find his way. He was at SGC. How did he tell them what became of him? He would have to, or they would spend a lot of time and man power searching. He couldn't let them do that.

Daniel passed through him, mingling with him, bring soul deep peace at last.

_Who?_

_Teal'c._

_Yeah, he'll deal with it better, and coming from him, people are less likely to think he's gone off his rocker._

Jack felt Daniel smile and he, for the first time, radiated love to Daniel. It didn't matter any more. It was all right here. It was okay to love him like he always had.

_You want the honors?_ Daniel asked amused.

_How do you do that ghostie thing?_

Daniel laughed and his laughter was like water on river stones. Again, Jack radiated love. It really didn't matter. His being filled with the ecstasy of knowing. His best orgasm in life couldn't compare to that feeling…if one could call it a feeling. Well, yes, he could. He felt it and he felt love.

_You'll know what to do,_ Daniel replied.  
~*~

Giving the message to Teal'c was probably the hardest thing he had done yet, after ascending. He explained it in terms that he knew the warrior would understand. His journey on this plane of existence was over. He hadn't wanted to give up the fight, but he had really had no choice. Teal'c acknowledged him solemnly and promised him that his story would be told.

"I'll be around," Jack jerked his thumb behind him in his usual manner of communicating. So succinct and simple, Jack could express so much with three words and a hand gesture. Teal'c nodded his acknowledgment with a small expression of profound gladness. There would be no "good-byes."

At last, Jack rose up. He floated free, expanding out along the atmosphere. He could feel the lightning of distant storms and understand the order of nature in a way that surpassed any knowledge he had ever gleaned from books and classes. The order of entropy amazed him. Talk about irony! Disorder had an order all its own. Jack laughed.

Then Daniel was there.

_I don't ever want to explain irony to you again._

_Never again._ Jack said as he let his being flow into Daniel. He poured into him, melting into his being. Their existences fused in bright joy. It was more than a kiss from Daniel's soft lips. It was more than a touch. It was everything he craved. Two beings became One.

End


End file.
